The spirit is willing 11/16/25

I’ve got my demons. I’m hard on myself, I have to be. I’m stubborn AF. I do what I want. I have a huge appetite and my mind is 1000MPH. I’ve developed this inner voice/ego, a David Goggins type character, possibly with my older brother’s voice. It’s the alter ego me that will look myself in eye and call me on my bullshit. “You’re a fat fucking piece of shit.. is this what you want to be? Weak?”… someone has to be. If not I’ll eat all the donuts. I’ll order a box of donuts, then eat them all in one sitting. Because I’m a gluten who at times has no self control. There’s a flip side to that coin. I started running again (11/16/25)… not that I ever stopped running, it’s just been a few weeks. I’ve been lazy. I decided today I was going to get up and run 2 miles non stop and under 20 minutes in mixed terrain. The running hurt, I was out of breath, I felt uncomfortable, that’s when I heard him… “you can feel the pain later, you can complain later, you can hurt later” and so I continued running. I hit my pathetic 20 minute standard, beat it by a few minutes… but still. I’m lazy. Sometimes the spirit is willing and has to remind the flesh who’s boss. I’m still a fat kid inside, I still want all the donuts all the time, but today… I got after it. Tomorrow is another day… and more donuts.